An Amazon.com search for books on “meetings” returns 59,664 results. This is a pretty good indication of how we’re trying to get work done in organizations today. Some of the more colorful titles include Patrick Lencioni’s Death by Meeting, Boring Meetings Suck by Jon Petz and Don Snyder, and Stop the Meeting I Want to Get Off! by Scott Snair. Although meetings can serve many valuable purposes in business, to borrow a phrase from Mr. Petz, they suck as a forum for influencing groups.
The inherent flaw in trying to use meetings as an arena for influencing groups is the notion that a group can be influenced. A group is made up of individuals. Though they may operate under a common moniker, these individuals do not share a singular consciousness. Each person comes to the group with his/her own agenda. Sometimes the agendas of meeting participants clash and at other times they will overlap ven diagram style. It is highly unlikely that a group of individuals will come to the table with a single perfectly synchronized objective.
No matter how efficient, engaging, or energetic, a meeting is one of the least effective ways to influence people. Motivating a group to cooperate toward the achievement of a particular objective can only be accomplished by earning trust, demonstrating what’s in it for him/her and inspiring each person within the group to commit to the cause.
It seems obvious that categorizing people under a particular label, such as “staff” or “marketing department” won’t turn them into a single-minded Borg. Yet, time and again leaders make the mistake of treating groups as if they are an independent entity not a collection of separate personalities.
Attendees are rarely given the time and opportunity to review and contribute to a meeting agenda. Without regard for variances in learning and information processing styles, important issues are often initially raised during the very same meeting in which they are to be resolved. This is just right for the “driver” running the meeting at the same time that it is highly frustrating for the more analytical methodical participants in the room.
During our Influence without Authority program, my business partner and I describe a typical meeting situation and ask people if the story sounds familiar. Inevitably, our participants smile and nod. We get comments such as, “Were you a fly on the wall last week or something?”
What do you think, does this story sound familiar to you?
Here you are opening up what you hope will be a productive meeting. Adhering to good meeting etiquette, you review the agenda with the group. As you look up from your notes expecting to see smiling faces and nodding heads, you are confronted instead with blank stares and furrowed brows. Rallying your courage you plow forward confident that by the end of the meeting the group will see that what you are proposing is really the only logical way to address the challenge at hand. As the meeting draws to a close, your participants scuttle out heads bowed over Blackberries trying to avoid your disappointed gaze.
Moments later, the meetings after the meeting begin. Small clusters of meeting attendees congregate throughout the office to debrief your meeting. A palpable nervous tension fills the break-room as you walk-in on one such post mortem pow-wow.
The reality that your message did not come across well and that your objective is no closer to being achieved sinks in. In hindsight, the meeting seems to have been a colossal waste of time. You invest hours speaking privately with each participant in a valiant effort to influence their opinions and earn their buy-in. Thinking all the while, there’s got to be a better way to get results!
Mr. Miyagi Can Help
Despite the reincarnation of the Karate Kid by the adorable progeny of Will and Jada, for Gen X, the Karate Kid is and will always be Ralph Macchio and his infamous crane stance. Though Jackie Chan will inevitably bring humor and pathos to the role of the wise mentor, it will be difficult to unseat Pat Morita’s sage words “wax on, wax off” from their 26 year reign in the echo chambers of our minds. I bring this up not to open an argument over the pros and cons of movie remakes (and don’t even get me started on sequels), but rather to use a scene from the original movie to make a point about influencing groups of people.
In the 1984 version of The Karate Kid, Daniel Russo finds Mr. Miyagi trimming a Bonsai tree. After a philosophical lesson on tree trimming, Miyagi leaves Daniel to sculpt his own Bonsai. If Miyagi caught Daniel trying to move the tree into a new planter by cutting a large swath of dirt around the base, he would scold Daniel. Unlike other trees, a Bonsai cannot be yanked out of one place and plopped into another. When changing the Bonsai’s location the roots are carefully separated from one another and smoothed out one by one. Once each root has been individually cleaned off, the whole tree can then be lifted out and transferred into the new location. This process is called Nemawashi. It is an ancient practice that holds the secret to influencing groups.
Smoothing the Roots
Influencing people is the organizational equivalent of transplanting a Bonsai tree. Like the delicate flora, people don’t adapt well when they are yanked from one belief system and forced to adapt to the unfamiliar ground of new views. Changing minds and winning hearts requires carefully separating deeply rooted beliefs from the comfortable soil in which they are currently embedded.
Let’s return to our meeting story from earlier. This time, begin by smoothing the roots. Imagine that you schedule time to speak with as many of the attendees as possible in advance of the meeting. You focus your efforts on those who have the most to gain or lose relative to the situation at hand or those who have the most influence within the group involved. During your discussions, you present the agenda giving each person time to comment and give you input. Though you use the time to present the meeting’s agenda, you do not spoil it by pushing your personal agenda. You encourage each person to discuss their objectives and where they stand on the issues. Being a good listener helps earn their trust. It’s a collaborative time. At Starbucks, the process is called “Socializing Ideas.”
When meeting time comes, most if not all of the participants have had a hand in shaping the content and context for the session. Everyone has had time to absorb the issues, consider the possibilities, and determine how they can contribute to a successful resolution. As the meeting leader, your role is to shed light on the common themes shared by the majority, introduce novel ideas held by the minority, and facilitate a collaborative atmosphere. The meeting time is spent pulling together the concepts with the most promise; molding them into new ideas that represent the best solutions. Not everyone’s ideas will be used, but everyone can feel good about being heard and treated fairly.
The meeting ends with a summary of key points and review of the action items assigned to various participants. People leave the meeting with a clear mandate for next steps.
Nemawashi requires an upfront investment of effort for the meeting leader but the ROI in terms of time savings and productivity increases is dramatic.
Influence Is a 1 to 1 Proposition
Influence is about connecting what’s important to the other person with the objective to be achieved. Whether or not that connection exists, and can be made, has to be determined through direct interaction with the individual. Talented motivational speakers, politicians, and charismatic leaders can strike a responsive chord with individuals in a group setting. Their means and message has enough magnetism to attract and inspire many different people. This one-to-many model is far less effective in business settings. Influence among people working within the same organization is best accomplished one-on-one.