Meetings, Influence, and the Bonsai Tree

An Amazon.com search for books on “meetings” returns 59,664 results. This is a pretty good indication of how we’re trying to get work done in organizations today. Some of the more colorful titles include Patrick Lencioni’s Death by Meeting, Boring Meetings Suck by Jon Petz and Don Snyder, and Stop the Meeting I Want to Get Off! by Scott Snair. Although meetings can serve many valuable purposes in business, to borrow a phrase from Mr. Petz, they suck as a forum for influencing groups.

The inherent flaw in trying to use meetings as an arena for influencing groups is the notion that a group can be influenced. A group is made up of individuals. Though they may operate under a common moniker, these individuals do not share a singular consciousness. Each person comes to the group with his/her own agenda. Sometimes the agendas of meeting participants clash and at other times they will overlap ven diagram style. It is highly unlikely that a group of individuals will come to the table with a single perfectly synchronized objective.

No matter how efficient, engaging, or energetic, a meeting is one of the least effective ways to influence people. Motivating a group to cooperate toward the achievement of a particular objective can only be accomplished by earning trust, demonstrating what’s in it for him/her and inspiring each person within the group to commit to the cause.

It seems obvious that categorizing people under a particular label, such as “staff” or “marketing department” won’t turn them into a single-minded Borg. Yet, time and again leaders make the mistake of treating groups as if they are an independent entity not a collection of separate personalities.

For example:

Attendees are rarely given the time and opportunity to review and contribute to a meeting agenda. Without regard for variances in learning and information processing styles, important issues are often initially raised during the very same meeting in which they are to be resolved. This is just right for the “driver” running the meeting at the same time that it is highly frustrating for the more analytical methodical participants in the room.

Sound Familiar?

During our Influence without Authority program, my business partner and I describe a typical meeting situation and ask people if the story sounds familiar. Inevitably, our participants smile and nod. We get comments such as, “Were you a fly on the wall last week or something?”

What do you think, does this story sound familiar to you?

Here you are opening up what you hope will be a productive meeting. Adhering to good meeting etiquette, you review the agenda with the group. As you look up from your notes expecting to see smiling faces and nodding heads, you are confronted instead with blank stares and furrowed brows. Rallying your courage you plow forward confident that by the end of the meeting the group will see that what you are proposing is really the only logical way to address the challenge at hand. As the meeting draws to a close, your participants scuttle out heads bowed over Blackberries trying to avoid your disappointed gaze.

Moments later, the meetings after the meeting begin. Small clusters of meeting attendees congregate throughout the office to debrief your meeting. A palpable nervous tension fills the break-room as you walk-in on one such post mortem pow-wow.

The reality that your message did not come across well and that your objective is no closer to being achieved sinks in. In hindsight, the meeting seems to have been a colossal waste of time. You invest hours speaking privately with each participant in a valiant effort to influence their opinions and earn their buy-in. Thinking all the while, there’s got to be a better way to get results!

Mr. Miyagi Can Help

Despite the reincarnation of the Karate Kid by the adorable progeny of Will and Jada, for Gen X, the Karate Kid is and will always be Ralph Macchio and his infamous crane stance. Though Jackie Chan will inevitably bring humor and pathos to the role of the wise mentor, it will be difficult to unseat Pat Morita’s sage words “wax on, wax off” from their 26 year reign in the echo chambers of our minds. I bring this up not to open an argument over the pros and cons of movie remakes (and don’t even get me started on sequels), but rather to use a scene from the original movie to make a point about influencing groups of people.

In the 1984 version of The Karate Kid, Daniel Russo finds Mr. Miyagi trimming a Bonsai tree. After a philosophical lesson on tree trimming, Miyagi leaves Daniel to sculpt his own Bonsai. If Miyagi caught Daniel trying to move the tree into a new planter by cutting a large swath of dirt around the base, he would scold Daniel. Unlike other trees, a Bonsai cannot be yanked out of one place and plopped into another. When changing the Bonsai’s location the roots are carefully separated from one another and smoothed out one by one. Once each root has been individually cleaned off, the whole tree can then be lifted out and transferred into the new location. This process is called Nemawashi. It is an ancient practice that holds the secret to influencing groups.

Smoothing the Roots

Influencing people is the organizational equivalent of transplanting a Bonsai tree. Like the delicate flora, people don’t adapt well when they are yanked from one belief system and forced to adapt to the unfamiliar ground of new views. Changing minds and winning hearts requires carefully separating deeply rooted beliefs from the comfortable soil in which they are currently embedded.

Let’s return to our meeting story from earlier. This time, begin by smoothing the roots. Imagine that you schedule time to speak with as many of the attendees as possible in advance of the meeting. You focus your efforts on those who have the most to gain or lose relative to the situation at hand or those who have the most influence within the group involved. During your discussions, you present the agenda giving each person time to comment and give you input. Though you use the time to present the meeting’s agenda, you do not spoil it by pushing your personal agenda. You encourage each person to discuss their objectives and where they stand on the issues. Being a good listener helps earn their trust. It’s a collaborative time. At Starbucks, the process is called “Socializing Ideas.”

When meeting time comes, most if not all of the participants have had a hand in shaping the content and context for the session. Everyone has had time to absorb the issues, consider the possibilities, and determine how they can contribute to a successful resolution. As the meeting leader, your role is to shed light on the common themes shared by the majority, introduce novel ideas held by the minority, and facilitate a collaborative atmosphere. The meeting time is spent pulling together the concepts with the most promise; molding them into new ideas that represent the best solutions. Not everyone’s ideas will be used, but everyone can feel good about being heard and treated fairly.

The meeting ends with a summary of key points and review of the action items assigned to various participants. People leave the meeting with a clear mandate for next steps.

Nemawashi requires an upfront investment of effort for the meeting leader but the ROI in terms of time savings and productivity increases is dramatic.

Influence Is a 1 to 1 Proposition

 Influence is about connecting what’s important to the other person with the objective to be achieved. Whether or not that connection exists, and can be made, has to be determined through direct interaction with the individual. Talented motivational speakers, politicians, and charismatic leaders can strike a responsive chord with individuals in a group setting. Their means and message has enough magnetism to attract and inspire many different people. This one-to-many model is far less effective in business settings. Influence among people working within the same organization is best accomplished one-on-one.

The Most Important Part of a Productive Meeting

For those of us working in organizations as employees, vendors, or consultants, the ebb and flow of our time is greatly affected by a schedule of daily meetings.   

Influential leaders recognize, accept, and capitalize on the significance of meetings in everyday work life.

They astutely leverage this valuable time to motivate others to collaborate on initiatives, expedite decision-making, and facilitate the production of needed deliverables. While it is true that influential leaders artfully employ efficient meetings, it is also true that running productive efficient meetings increases personal influence. The Catch-22 is that it is much easier to organize and conduct productive meetings if you have a lot of influence as a leader. That said, people in the process of growing their influence can follow certain protocols to improve the efficiency of the meetings they run in order to enhance their credibility, improve their reputation as someone who “gets things done”, and build trusting relationships with others throughout the organization.

Typically, successful meetings embody some or all of the following characteristics:

• The “right” people attended
• Everyone was properly prepared
• There was a steady focus on the right topics
• The meeting produced well informed decisions and/or tangible results
• The meeting outcomes were supported by consistent relevant follow up

Leaders whose meetings consistently model these characteristics carefully attend to the three parts of every meeting:  Preparation, Facilitation, and Follow-thru.

Which part do you think has the greatest impact on the effectiveness and productivity of a meeting?

Anyone who’s had a meeting start late, get off track, fail to produce any tangible results, and then end late knows the price to be paid for inadequate meeting preparation.  It’s important to keep in mind the frustration that comes from attending a poorly planned meeting; especially when faced with the decision of how much time and effort to invest before the participants convene.

Though our tendency is to “borrow” time from meeting planning to be used elsewhere, just know that, more often than not, we end up paying back this time plus interest both during and after the meeting!

Starting with preparation, the posts will cover a set of guidelines for how to plan, facilitate, and follow-thru on productive meetings. For optimum results, these methods should be executed in an environment conducive to and supportive of their application. Though not impossible, it is certainly an uphill battle to implement efficiency strategies in a culture that has grown accustomed to or even promotes counter-productive meeting practices. For more information on the impact of organizational culture on meeting efficiency, you may want to first read Productive Meeting Is Not An Oxymoron and/or Culture: The Organizational 12^th Man.

 “Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” ~A.A. Milne

FIVE PEAS IN A PEAPOD

This is a catchy little device for remembering all of the steps to take when preparing for meetings:

1. Purpose
2. Payoff (3 H’s)
3. Ponder the purpose
4. People
5. Process

            Potential Pitfalls

The first step towards a productive meeting is to develop a brief Purpose statement for the meeting. Answer questions such as:

• Why conduct this meeting?
• What do we want to achieve?

Once the purpose is clear, determine the meeting’s  Payoff or tangible output:

• What will participants have in their Hands (deliverables, materials, action plan, etc.)
• What will they have in their Heads? (knowledge, information, awareness)
• What will be in their Hearts? (Beliefs, commitments, values)

Based on what you want to achieve with the meeting and the Payoff for the participants, it’s now time to Ponder the purpose. Ask questions such as:

• Is this meeting really necessary?
• Is there an alternative way to achieve the Purpose and Payoff without the time, effort, and/or expense of a meeting?
• Could we get the same results using an alternative method such as email “round robin”, electronic survey, or one-way dissemination of information?
• If a meeting is required, does it have to occur face-to-face or can it be conducted via teleconference, or video-conference?
• If the meeting does need to be face-to-face, what is the appropriate venue (specific room requirements, food, AV equipment, on-site, off-site, etc.)?
• How much time is needed to cover each agenda item? Is the total time required to complete the agenda too much for a single meeting? Can some of the work be accomplished by participants before the meeting?

Once you’re certain that the meeting does in fact need to be held. Your next step is to assess the People part of the equation. Develop a list of people who must attend in order to achieve the meeting’s Purpose. In other words, if there is no way to fulfill the Purpose without the individual, then that person must be there. Create a separate list of people you’d like to have attend or think could benefit or add some value, but without whom the Purpose could still be accomplished.

Before contacting People on either list, take the time to outline the Process you will use to achieve the Purpose. This is a list of the topics that need to be covered starting with a Review of the Agenda and ending with a Summary of the meeting. When you send this out as part of your invitation to participants, include the Purpose, Payoff, and a complete list of People.

A strong influence building strategy is to give the Must Attend participants a preview of the agenda. Ask for their input and ideas. As much as possible, incorporate their suggestions into the final agenda you send out to the group. This will ensure that the individuals critical to the meeting’s success have ownership of the outcome. It’s also an excellent way to secure attendance.

 For the Nice-to-Have individuals on your second list, provide them with a copy of the agenda and take a few minutes to discuss your interest in having them attend and the benefits they can gain by participating. It is important to graciously accept a decline from any of the people on this secondary list. By asking them to the meeting, you are signaling that you recognize their value. Extending them the courtesy of opting out without negative consequence (guilt, griping, grudges), you are reinforcing your understanding of their worth and demonstrating a sincere respect for their time. The trust and rapport you establish with this practice will make it that much easier to obtain their commitment and cooperation regarding future meetings.

You’re not quite done yet; the last step in thorough meeting preparation is to anticipate the Potential Pitfalls. On the tactical side, confirm administrative items such as whether or not the venue selected can comfortably accommodate the attendees. For the more strategic aspects of the meeting, consider questions such as:

• What questions or concerns could arise about the Purpose, Payoff, or Process? How can these be addressed efficiently either before or during the meeting?
• What are the “Hot” items that need to be addressed but could end up taking too much time or creating tangential discussions? What can be done to handle these constructively?
• What items could come up that really don’t have anything to do with the meeting purpose and should not be addressed?

What other strategies have you used to prepare for meetings?

Have you ever experienced an inefficient meeting run by an influential person? What went wrong?

Influence vs. Persuasion: A Critical Distinction for Leaders

INFLUENCE OR PERSUASION

Let’s begin with a little mental gymnastics. Take a moment to decide on your definition of the words “influence” and “persuasion.” Then, decide which of the following statements falls under your definition of Influence and which falls under Persuasion:

1. Choosing words and phrases to communicate ideas that strike a responsive chord in a target audience
2. Socializing ideas to bring all the issues to light and earn buy-in
3. Giving others a voice in the decision-making process
4. Learning what keeps a person or group of people up at night
5. Providing assistance or resources without any expectation of reciprocity
6. Brokering meaningful relationships between unconnected groups
7. Using a decision-matrix to steer a conversation through a path of predictable choices
8. Orchestrating environmental conditions in which to interact with others in order to optimize the likelihood of a desirable outcome
9. Listening and paraphrasing back what was said
10. Delivering bad news sooner than later
11. Giving others credit whenever possible
12. Maintaining a track record of consistent success in a particular area

The less distinction between your definitions of influence and persuasion the higher degree of difficulty you probably experienced trying to separate the above statements. From a purely semantic point of view, it’s not such a big deal to use these terms interchangeably. From a leadership perspective however, the distinction can be the difference between your team carrying you on their shoulders after a victory or having them stuff you in a locker before practice.

Based on my definitions, 2, 3, 5, 6, 11, & 12 are squarely under the influence umbrella. Items 1, 7, 8 fall under persuasion. The others can go either way depending upon the circumstances or timing of a situation.

TERMINOLOGY DEFINED

The way I see it,

Persuasion is presenting a case in such a way as to sway the opinion of others, make people believe certain information, or motivate a decision. Marketing programs can formally teach persuasion techniques.

Influence is having a vision of the optimum outcome for a situation or organization and then, without using force or coercion, motivating people to work together toward making the vision a reality.

Persuasion can be used to spur someone to action or to make a decision without actually earning their sincere buy-in. With influence, dedicating time to win someone’s heart or earn mindshare is a prerequisite to the process of inspiring them to take action or make a particular decision.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

In time-sensitive circumstances, positive persuasion techniques are a handy means for expediting results. However, for most leaders, influence is the preferred means to a productive end. This is because influence is based on a foundation of trust and credibility that has been solidified over time. If persuasion techniques are applied in situations best suited for influence, the persuader is often perceived as manipulative and any compliance is temporary at best.

Consider this: If someone doesn’t have significant influence with you, yet they convince you to do something, has the person persuaded you or did they simply facilitate a process by which you persuaded yourself?

Persuasion used indiscriminately can easily be described as the ability to “sell ice to Eskimos.” But, do the Eskimos trust you or buy from you again when they realize you’ve sold them something they don’t really need? How comfortable do you feel with that decision even a few short minutes after you make it? Chances are you have doubts. Because you don’t necessarily trust the person who persuaded you, you experience misgivings or “buyer’s remorse.” On the other hand, a strong leader who takes the time to reduce any uncertainty before encouraging others to act or make a decision can use persuasion techniques without eliciting such negative feelings.

Persuasion techniques, when applied with integrity and a sincere intention to make a positive contribution in an individual’s life or to the betterment of the group, are a powerful lever for moving the decision-making process along. In situations where we’ve made the proper investment in relationships, we can use persuasion techniques such as framing, fairness, and timing to show respect for the people who deem us influential.

If persuasion is the hammer you pull out the moment you see a nail, influence is the apprenticeship and training you go through long before you attempt to build a house. Influence grows out of well nurtured relationships. It’s the end-result of actions, behaviors, and intentions geared toward building trust, establishing credibility, and adding value. Persuasion is more of an “in the moment” skill. It’s the combination of charisma, talent, and technique that can get things done without preamble. Ironically, despite its expediency, persuasion is actually best received by people who have faith in the persuader’s degree of influence.

When trust is present, influence increases and persuasion is positive.

Managing Up: How to Influence Your Boss

The ultimate challenge or maybe it’s the ultimate irony when it comes to influencing without authority is to influence those with authority over us. Compelling a direct manager or senior leader within the organization to support someone else’s agenda requires patience, planning, and the diligent application of effective influence techniques.

The first thing you must do before devoting time to enhancing your influence is to honestly assess your intentions. Attempts to persuade someone with higher authority to consider an agenda that at its core is self-serving are quickly recognized as manipulative and potentially counter-productive to the interests of the organization. Promoting personal gain, especially at the expense of the greater good, quickly erodes trust and credibility. However, if the intention behind achieving targeted objectives is to benefit the organization, then efforts to exert influence will be applauded not rebuked.

Once you’ve passed the “gut check” on intentions, use the following process to improve your ability to “manage up.”

See the World as the Other Person Sees It

An important part of influencing people with authority is to begin to see the world from their point of view. Even if your manager was once a peer, keep in mind that the promotion came with a new perspective, modified priorities, and different pressures. Make time to walk in the other person’s shoes. Start by strolling down the value path. Ask yourself:

What does this person value? (Recognition, acceptance by peers, respect, networking opportunities, open communication, a sense of belonging, solving problems, helping others, etc.)

Once you’ve determined what the person values, consider what contributions you can make or actions you can take that would add value from this person’s perspective. For example, if your manager values problem solving, be sure to include well thought out options when communicating issues or opportunities.

In addition to value considerations, a terrific question to contemplate when walking a mile or two in the other person’s shoes is:

What keeps this person up at night?

This question forces you to think about his or her role, responsibilities, life outside of work, hopes, aspirations, as well as how his performance is being evaluated.

Define Your Objectives

Write down a clear statement of what it is you believe needs to be achieved. Support this statement with a list of relevant business reasons and/or confirming information. If possible, segment your objective into milestones. Decide which milestones are non-negotiable in terms of a successful outcome and which could be skipped or postponed without dramatic consequence to the realization of your goal. The greater the clarity you possess the better prepared you will be to articulate this vision in a compelling reasonable manner.

Set yourself up for success by visualizing the end result and sorting your “must haves” from your “nice to haves.”

Plan Your Approach

When influencing up the hierarchical ladder, cool heads prevail. Often, we let our excitement get the best of us and spew forth our ideas in a downpour of disjointed exclamations. A good influencer uses an empathetic understanding of the other person’s world to tailor his/her engagement approach. Three factors to consider when developing a plan for discussing issues, ideas, and opportunities with senior leaders are framing, communication styles, and timing.

Framing

As you plan what you will say, position your message in a way that demonstrates your knowledge of and respect for the other person’s perspective. Frame your case in terms of the value it can deliver relevant to the senior leader’s objectives, challenges, or organizational focus.

Communication Styles

Select a communication medium based on the manager’s preferences. If this is someone who prefers face-to-face interactions, schedule a meeting at a time and place that’s conducive to focused conversation. If the person likes to mull things over and study up on the topic, develop your case in writing and email it along with suggested times for follow-up discussions. For the chronic multi-tasker, break down your message into smaller chunks. Be prepared to deliver the pieces during fleeting windows of opportunity.

Timing

Timing is of the essence. Carefully consider the best time to approach the other person with your ideas. Face-to-face meetings and even pre-arranged phone conversations demonstrate courtesy and offer control. Once you have a meeting scheduled, send the person a bulleted list of objectives or key points for the conversation at least 24 hours in advance. When it comes to “bad news,” inform senior leaders as soon as possible. Always have options for resolution prepared when presenting a problem. Remember, people need time to absorb information and process their thoughts. Give the person space to “catch up” to you in terms of experience with and depth of knowledge about the information.

Present with Passion (but don’t over do it)

State your ideas with conviction and clarity. Modify your style to honor the other person’s preferences. For example, if your manager is a visual person, use images to illustrate key points. For a numbers person, be sure to come armed with relevant data. If your manager is a relational person, use stories to captivate while you communicate. Stay on point. Try not to become defensive when the person with authority questions your game plan. Challenging your ideas is not an attack on you personally but rather a sign of interest, an act of collaboration, and even an indication of progress toward acceptance. Lastly, maintain the credibility of your case by adhering to this sales axiom: Don’t Sell Past The Close. When the other person has either agreed with you or indicated that they need time to evaluate the situation, thank him or her for the time and exit gracefully.

Realistically, these steps are proven but not bulletproof. If your direct attempts to influence a senior leader are fruitless, the indirect route is a solid Plan B. Use the process above to enlist the support of another senior leader who is respected by the person you are trying to influence.

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Leadership, Risk, and the Need for Shoulder Pads

During his interview at the NFL pre-season game between the Patriots and the Red Skins, quarterback Jason Campbell briefly explained how he’s learned to deal with the direct pressure the quarterback and the head coach receive when things aren’t going well. He spoke of staying focused despite all the negativity. Campbell’s comments made me think about the need for and effects of risk-taking on a leader’s life.

Risk is a carnival ride that can swing a leader on a pendulum’s path from the exhilaration of reward down through the gut-wrenching sweep to reproach.

When times are good, it’s all about being carried off the field held high on the shoulders of an appreciative team—doused in champagne as the boisterous noise bounces off the lockers and fills the room with a cacophony of happiness. When times are not so good, the unfortunate flipside is the relentless click of cameras in an otherwise quiet room at the press conference announcing the canceled contract—enduring the jeers and insults of angry fans, and the lonesome concern as the unknown future lays ahead.

Sometimes the drama in the business world can be just as hyperbolized as it is in the sports arena. I’ve never seen an executive doused with champagne, but I have seen company leaders accept awards as grateful employees stand to their feet cheering wildly. On the other side of the coin, the press is filled with coverage of fallen CEOs and scorned Board Members. Ultimately, no matter how public the deification or the demise, there comes that moment where the leader is left alone to either smile or scowl.

The majority of leadership triumphs and tragedies are played out every day in simpler ways and smaller venues. A manager and her team share shrimp teriyaki at the local Benihana in celebration of the project completed on-time and within budget. A toast at the local bar to honor the sales person who landed the big account. A director quietly empties out his desk following the third straight quarter of missed projections. A woman flushes with hurt and anger as she accidentally over hears her co-workers mocking her outspoken ideas for improving departmental productivity.

When people think about influence and leadership, they imagine the glory, the power, and the devoted followers. Rarely do people take the time to consider the vulnerability of leadership. Calculated or foolish, risk is risk. A risk pays off or it doesn’t meet expectations. Either way, it is the leader that made the go-no/go decision who is held accountable for the outcome. Stepping up to leadership requires strong character, applicable skills, credibility, trust, and a quality set of emotional “shoulder pads.”

Even with body armor though, sometimes the pain of failure still gets through. For example, in the Patriots-Redskins game, Tom Brady’s arm was twisted when he was tackled resulting in a sore shoulder. In most non-sports related cases, leaders aren’t physically sacked by opponents (we hope); but being proverbially pinned to the wall comes with its own level of discomfort. How well a person absorbs the blow of failure and rebounds speaks volumes about his or her worth as a leader. People are always watching and assessing. Everybody loves a winner. But winning often masks true character. Over the long run, people follow winners who also lose well. Effective leaders who take educated risks that pay off more often than not develop loyal followers not necessarily because of the leader’s win-ratio but rather because of how the leader handles the loses. The real winners, the people truly worth following, are the people who:

• Handle disappointment with dignity
• Hold themselves and others equally accountable
• Acknowledge and share lessons learned
• Come back stronger the next time

Though the upside to winning is attractive, it is the unsung reality of the downside to risk that either consciously or unconsciously holds people back from getting in the game. There is safety in watching from the stands or from a cozy chair in the den. Sports spectators have strong opinions. Yet most armchair quarterbacks don’t actually expect the head coach of their favorite team to call them up and ask for advice on the next set of downs. However in business, it’s common for people who have consistently shied away from leadership responsibility to be puzzled and dismayed that their suggestions aren’t taken seriously or that they aren’t as influential as they’d like to be. It’s unrealistic to expect a team to defend you on the line of scrimmage when you’re not willing to risk taking the snap. When it comes to leading, you have to be willing to persevere through the good and the bad. As you build your personal influence and take on more leadership responsibility, wear your shoulder pads.

React to the wins and the losses with equal amounts of humility and professionalism so that either way people feel good about following you.